Richard recently mentioned what he believed to be a Chinese blessing, “May you live in interesting times”. Turns out this phrase was actually a (probably misattributed) Chinese curse. Hilarious.
Summer has been interesting so far. I can’t say that interesting is always pleasant, but… at least I’m finding things interesting in the first place. Even if life is going badly, when I am feeling well-adjusted and highly-adaptable, novelty feels pleasant.
Having known this about myself for a while, I can use it to make a mental check of my emotional state. Depression is something I worry about a lot, having had to drag myself out of it by tooth and nail so many times in the past. If I’ve been wondering if I’m sliding back towards an emotionally depressed state, I can ask myself, “Is novelty pleasurable?” If not, I make a note to keep checking in on myself. I keep Richard informed. If I decide I am actually depressed again, then I have to make that call to my psychiatrist. These few steps make up a seemingly simple plan; it was anything but simple to arrive at. I had no one to teach me these things.
Maybe some day I will have the vocabulary and skill to explain what clinical depression has felt like for me. I hope so. I want so badly for the public to be more educated about depression. In general, our society is not knowledgeable enough to recognize the symptoms of mental illness (except for the really obvious ones you can learn about on TV). We do not seek help for mental issues as skillfully as we seek help when we break a bone. On top of this, mental illness is still a taboo subject that many people don’t even want to deal with at all. For many good reasons, we hide it in ourselves– but we need not.
It’s a frustrating situation to contemplate.
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I like to think of depression (mine anyway) as the mental analog of diabetes, and treat is maintenance as such. (It’s a personal choice of metaphor that predates similarities recently suggested between their respective mechanisms.)
this is a great way to check my marbles
JP– so is your depression mellitus or insipidus? And if mellitus, type 1 or type 2? How far can you take your metaphor?
If my depression were a disease, it would be… well I mean, it is a disease… uh… it would be…
Well, clearly someone needs to create a “What disease is your depression???” quiz.
Definitely not insipidus. I mean, even ignoring the symptoms, just look at the word: Insipid! Certainly not.
And I was always sullen as a child, so I’m going to say Type 1.
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