First things first: a cat video. (The footage is from this past week, taken while cat sitting for some friends.)
Second things second: tomorrow is the first day of summer quarter, in which I will be taking a business class (”Interpersonal Communication in the Workplace”) and finishing up some incomplete classes from last quarter. I won’t go into what happened, but … last quarter was pretty bad. I still think I will come out with a 4.0, once I get the work turned in, but… what possesses me to allow myself to get into situations like that? Where there’s so much work to be done, and not enough time to do it? I went into this Medical Assisting program thinking that since I’d been through hell and back my first time in college, this would be a piece of cake, but it hasn’t been. I’m glad I’ve been working hard the whole time.
During spring break, I thought a lot about WTF I am doing in general, and came to the realization that this blog is nothing special, and I’m okay with that. I thought when I started it that it would end up being special somehow, but… it’s mostly just a confessional, a place to dredge up the sad things in my life and mull them over and bare my revelations for any random person to see. This is not a bad thing ultimately, but it’s not what I had hoped to create. In any case, I feel like I have a more realistic view of what this blog is and is not, and I’ve though about how I might make up for the things it is not through other types of writing and creativity.
At the very least, it is a public record, written in realtime, of the things I’m feeling and thinking– and as much as bloggers are made fun of for being self-serving, short on discretion, full of bullshit and delusions of grandeur– I don’t really mind being grouped with them. N00b writers are given a voice, and what do you expect to come out? Melodious poetry? No, it’s just normal things that people think and feel. (Anyway, the best thing about blogs that displease you is that you don’t have to read them.)
It is in my nature to be self-disparaging and to not take myself seriously, but I have made an effort to be somewhat serious when writing here. I do need to talk about things that are important to me, and I can do it here as a near-monologue, where no one can interrupt and cause me to lose my train of though. (Oh, it happens so easily).
My best friend Jen over at Miniature Wonderments, who has such a soulful, uncynical, unapologetic way of writing, has been writing about her experience with cancer, and connecting with people that way. I think people like her make the best types of bloggers, because she does not give a flying fuck about being Internet Cool. There are so many ways to be a self-absorbed asshole online (as there are in real life), but she doesn’t spend enough time online to even know about most of them. It makes her so innocent! I love it.
I went to Lake Chelan with family the weekend before last, and took this photo in Stevens Pass on the way home:
Lovely, dark and deep, 2009 (For sale.)
2 Comments
i really enjoy your blog and i think it says a lot about you, that you are willing to put your thoughts down. i mean in a positive sense. i’ve read many of your entries and think you are a gifted and creative person and your writing/images have given me joy, humour and often something to contemplate. a big thank you for the inspiration.
Holy crap… this is a huge compliment. I almost want to cry. As an artist, it’s like a balm on my heart to know that I have given someone else joy like that. :)
I was just about to post an entry about how online communication is so depressing sometimes that it makes me want to just off myself right then and there at the keyboard, but now I think I’ll post photos of fireworks instead.
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