As Provost, Chancellor, President, and Rector of the Beemouse Institute for Advanced Study, it is my pleasure to announce October 22nd as Punch Your Urinary Tract Day.
The aim of Punch Your Urinary Tract Day is to increase awareness of how terribly, terribly lame it is to experience symptoms of urinary tract pathology. We expect that the punching of the tract, on any of its constituent parts, will cause it to repent of its many sins, and may additionally generate for the individual a source of pain that distracts from primary symptoms.
The following celebratory activities have been approved by the Rector of the Beemouse Institute, and all students, faculty, and staff are encouraged to participate:
- Blogging about your urinary tract
- Punching your urinary tract (through the abdominal wall)
- Creating an interpretive, gestural depiction of your urinary tract under the guidance of a clinical psychologist
- Researching the physiology and pathology of the urinary tract and making a presentation to one’s peers
- Games celebrating the variety of “silly walks” associated with urinary tract pathology, or skits wherein participants depict the symptoms of someone suffering from an acute kidney infection, etc.
The only celebratory activity required of all students, faculty, and staff is #2, Punching your urinary tract.
If you do not have a urinary tract, see Room 404 for an application. Please note that the current wait time is approximately 6 weeks.
3 Comments
Can we celebrate by punching other peoples’ urinary tracts?
As long as the punching occurs between two consenting adults, yes.
Owch, now that looks painful! Anyhow, I got your photo Jess!! How’d you know the raven pic was my fave? Your pics are remarkable and you should think about getting your work shown in some galleries. Thanks so much for the wonderful photo!!!!
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