It’s only 1pm and I’m pretty sure I’ve hit my emotional high and low for the day.
High: Daydreaming about the artistic process while riding the bus; thinking about how frustrating and frightening being a visual artist is; thinking about how much vulnerability it requires– how each line in a drawing is a chance for a mistake, and the next a chance for a redemption; feeling pretty happy about my chosen path.
Low: Looking at the excellent work of other artists online and feeling lame, three steps behind, not cool enough; feeling anxious while wondering things like, “who will ever like my art? will I ever make a name for myself? what the hell am I thinking?” I classify these as my Anxieties, which are transitory and illogical, and less scary than the Serious Fears.
Fortunately, it looks like the High predicts the Low, so I just need to suffer through this moment and wait for it to pass, and then the rest of my day will be at least better than bad. (aka “good.”)
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