A while ago, a friend’s computer crashed, and she lost everything. She is an avid Sims player, and she was most crushed about losing her Sims data. I wrote her a condolence card:
My assistant S. Marie informed me of the regrettable and untimely demise of your Sims.
I would like to extend condolences from everyone at the Beemouse Institute for Advanced Study. We are truly shocked and saddened by your loss.
I personally enjoyed the many stories you told me about your Sims. I remember the man you trapped in a small room with no doors. I remember your outdoor garden house, and your recreation of the set of Lost. I remember when the Sims-me had a baby and it died. I remember when you gave your Sims the faces of my cats. I remember that during times of sadness in your life, you would tell me over the phone about your Sim adventures, and your voice would sound joyful. I remember all these things, and more.
In spite of the insults heaped upon them by your decrepit laptop, your Sims have not been destroyed. Their lives, histories, and personalities, stored as directional charges on a ferromagnetic media, may dissipate, but according to the first law of thermodynamics, their spirits live on.
With love and respect,
All of us at the Beemouse Institute for Advanced Study
I made myself laugh so hard writing this I almost peed my pants.
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